Raining Evening

It was a heavy raining evening today. The wind mostly blew away my umbrella. It's cold and wet. I shall not think anything today and have a good sleep =)

What's wrong with me

Lately, I found myself have bad temper. I just couldn't control myself and keep throwing temper to my loved one. I knew I shouldn't, but somehow it just happened. Sometimes, I was depressed.

Perhaps, it was because I am too stress on my work. I felt that I can't master well on my new job although I strive hard to improve and adsorb as much as possible but it seems still can't hit my superior's expectation.

Sometimes, I felt lonely stay in Singapore, be apart with my loved one. I have to be independent and to corp with the issues that I face on a day to day basis. I hope I can slow down my pace and enjoy the precious time without thinking or worrying too much for my future or career. But the reality is you just can't stop or slow down if you want to survive in the first world country, the environment will keep pushing you to move forward and achieve a new height.

I felt envy to my friends who can pursue their dreams with doing the thing they like without care about how other people think about you. It takes courage I agreed. I am just not the person who are brave and willing to take risk, I afraid if I made a wrong decision, it will affects my portfolio, I just worry too much about every little things surrounding me, which is not good I knew.

I need to let go of perfect. Nothing is perfect in this world, same goes to human being, I shouldn't control so much and let it be. I have to accept everyone have their strength and weakness. I have to learn shouldn't take life for granted. I have to be grateful. I have to let go the negative thoughts. I need a change!

Just wanted to write down my complicated mindset and refresh my mind. Life goes on, if we can't change the life, we need to change our mind.